I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
