I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
