she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
