there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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