It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
