i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
no more duck duck goose at the bar
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
