3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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