Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
