Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
