So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
