How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
