your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
