There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
