R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
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