forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
pray to the hookup gods
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
