oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
