Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
