he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
