I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
