D3 body, D1 cock
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
