No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
