the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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