two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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