fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
