I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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