I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
