that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
