Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
