Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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