At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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