got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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