Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
