Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
