fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
