the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
