That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
