Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
