If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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