Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
