If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
