He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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