do herpes really smell.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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