Cold hands, warm shart.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Randomize
