3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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