First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
