She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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