At least make sure they are 18
Why
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
