what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
