Kiss
Puke
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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