Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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