So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
