did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
